Not that kind of Mom(ma). 

I am not that kind of Mom who loves to play with their kids. The one who will drop everything right in that very second to play yet another round of engines or racing. I’m just not.

But I will give them my attention when they ask for it. When they say they want me, when they tell me a story, or yes, when they ask my to play. I’ll finish up what I’m doing, and give them the 10mins they need, before they move onto something else. But I don’t always love it.

But I love them.

I am not the kind of Mom who does crafts. Nope. Not at all. I try. I’ve done it. But it’s not fun. It gets messy, and frustrating and usually ends in disaster. Not to mention the attention span for crafts with my kids is only about 5 mins, so really, it’s not worth the fuss.

But I will color or read book after book, or sing songs or have living room dance parties.

I am not the kind of Mom who gets us outside every day. I know it’s good for us, I know once they actually agree to get dressed and into coats & shoes and once we get past the front door they’ll get into it…but that whole leading up to it…that struggle, every single time, is often too defeating. Especially if they are content & playing happily inside.

But I do plan longer walks out in the woods on a weekly basis. I do know the moments in the day when it is absolutely imperative that we get outside. I just don’t push for those outside times, rain or shine. I’ll save my energies for the battles that need it.

I am not that Mom who’s kids are always put together, in matching outfits with no stains or rips.

Are the clothes clean? Yes. Usually. Are they wearing appropriate clothing for the weather? Yes. Usually. That’s all I care about.

I am not the kind of Mom who has a strict routine with every moment scheduled out. I don’t work that way.

But I do make sure there are general guidelines to the day and that the important things are covered (like meals, nap time, play time, quiet time).

I am not that kind of Mom who, every time, will quietly & patiently talk to the kids when they are screaming their heads off, or freaking out about something, or fighting with each other, or making an intentional mess. I yell. I yell a lot. A lot more then I ever thought I would as a Momma. Especially now, being pregnant for the third time, my patience and energy is already very thin. So I yell. I’m not proud of it, but more often then not, it’s what gets through to them quicker in the moment. They hear me when I raise my voice.

But I will always be there to apologize, to hug & kiss and explain my own outburst, and to then explain what their behaviors were like. I bring the love after the fury. Always.

I am not the perfect mom. the perfect wife. the perfect person. And I don’t strive to be. I strive to be authentic, loving, and open. I don’t always succeed, but I still keep trying. Same as I keep trying to find the balance between ‘Me’ and  ‘Momma’.

I am not a lot of kinds of “Mom” but I am the best Mom I can be and it’s in my own messy way.