My days lately have been filled with heartburn & impatience….with everything. Being 2 weeks away from due date, with baby number 3, has really been playing a huge game with my emotions, energy and ability to really enjoy & focus on the things on hand. Like my children, myself, the house, my husband. I am wanting everything to just be, well, perfect. Perfectly organized & clean house, kids who don’t demand something new every single moment, having enough time to myself, etc etc. But I know, I really know, that nothing is perfect, and that I need to let a lot of stuff go and just be easy on myself. I am growing a god-damn human being for eff’s sake, I am doing a lot, even when it doesn’t feel like it. Giving myself that break, giving the days space to just be, is the desire, the goal, it’s getting there that can be the issue.
Yesterday, a Monday, I ended up waking up before both kids, and I decided to meditate. I was consistent with my meditation for a good 2 months, but then it slipped away, and I got off track, so yesterday was my first attempt to getting back to that. It was a major help for me, during my days, for my anxiety, to take those 10mins out of my day, to just focus inward, and breathe. So yesterday, I started with the meditation first thing, and boy, let me tell you, it set my day off right. I set myself up with the intention that “today is going to be a good day” thought, and I kept that thought with me. I let the impatient moments enter, but I didn’t let it over-rule. They came, and went. I was kinder with my kids, I felt lighter & happier within myself and I was present in the moments that I needed to be.
It can be so easy to get swept up in the frustrations of daily occurrences. To lose sight of what we are striving for feeling (happy, calm, patient, kind etc) because all the “dark & twisty” feelings can, so often, over-power. To even think about setting the intention for “good days” or “don’t sweat the small stuff” can be forgotten to be thought, or just all together not exist. But the power of our minds is incredible. If we can just stop, think, and set those positive intentions, and let THOSE thoughts guide us, then the outcome is quite beautiful.
I started today with mediation too, but it was when the kids were already up, and I didn’t have as much of a time to set my positive intention for the day, or get to focus in on it as much, but I have had it in the back of my mind. But even though my patience wasn’t as in check as yesterday, I was gentler on myself, forgiving myself for my reactions, and keeping my cool, more so then I have been over the last few weeks. I’ll take that as a win, and know that each and every day is different, forever changing, and also a brand new start.
So what are your positive intentions? What do you want to feel in your core? What words, phrases or mantras do you use?
I wish you self-love, self-acceptance & self-forgiveness on the days that need it.