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Maternity & Newborn

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The other day, I had a full on anxiety attack. Like, brought me to my knees, shaking body, rapid & shallow breath, unable to speak, type anxiety attack. I hadn’t had one of those in about 5 years. The last time, I was pregnant with my 2nd child, just moved back to the island, had no home, husband was away working for weeks at a time, and it was all just too much. This time, well, I suppose it’s also about just ‘too much’. Yes, I’ve done it to myself, with taking on a lot, although I know I’m capable, although I have said “no” to extra things that just didn’t serve me or my time, but I still can feel, and have felt, the overwhelm. Plus, add in a weird week of sleep & eating habits, and I guess that’s the perfect mixture for an attack. So I’m re-looking at my priorities, and how to balance all I have going on. Remembering to let guilt go, when I don’t get those ‘housewife’ duties done, when I just watch a movie with the kids instead. When I take that cat nap, and know it’s doing me well, rather then think about all the things I’m not ‘getting done’ while I do so. When I say to myself ‘it’s ok to do nothing’, because doing nothing is resting, and resting is doing more then I even know. It’s not feeling defeated when I’m not booking any photography sessions, because I can now use my ‘kid free time’ to focus on the many roles I have to learn, for my upcoming shows. It’s knowing & trusting in the universe, in myself and that I have the strength to get through the swamp of thoughts, but also know that it’s ok to feel weak & to cry, because that’s a release, all on its own. So I’ve taken this attack, and I’ve turned the sword around, so instead of stabbing me all over again, I will battle back with a new sense of determination & understanding. . . . . . . . #self #seethebeauty #anxiety #battle #attack #speakup #truth #raw #open #honest #talkaboutit #life #momlife #actorlife #full #overwhelm #toomuch #priorities #balance #teetertauter #rollercoaster #schedule #mettarose
I pulled a card from every deck I own (except tarot) yesterday, and I was just in awe at how aligned they were all with each other, and with where I am currently in my ‘self-development’ process. *Self-love *stand your ground *share your voice * I am strong *”there is nothing sexier than my authentic truth.” *relaxation (because sometimes that reminder is needed). This spread has stayed with me, instilling a much needed boost in confidence, assurance and acknowledgment that I am, indeed, on the right path. I’m listening to my soul, my gut, my heart. I am showing up for myself. I am standing up for myself. I am figuring myself out. This journey is an ongoing adventure & I love what comes around each new bend in the road. . . . . . #self #love #standyourground #shareyourvoice #iamstrong #relaxation #authenticself #empowered #journey #cardspread #intuition #selflove #tothineownselfbetrue #soul #life #grateful #mettarose
The role that got me back into acting, after 4 years. My first role since becoming a mom. The first time dancing, learning songs, building a character & multiple rehearsals. And boy did it feel good. Texas, in Cabaret in 2016, with @exitstageleftss kickstarted this #actormom life, and I haven’t stopped again since (even when I had baby no.3!). Theatre was, and always had been my first love. Although I started out with being more surrounded by dance (my momma is a dancer and I grew up dancing with her, in her shows, going with her to Victoria and watching her dance rehearsals. As well as taking lessons from the same lovely woman my middle child is now taking them from), theatre is really what stole my heart. When I switched schools at age 10, that’s when it all really happened. The school put on two shows a year, and it was fantastic. At 11 years old I played Potiphar’s wife, in ‘Joseph and the amazing technicolor dream coat’, age 12 Lady Macbeth in ‘Macbeth’. Age 13 Peter Pan. I joined @stagecoach.salt.spring as one of their first students, and we did a show each year. Once I hit high school, I joined the choir, and chose dance & acting class. When I graduated, I somehow chose to follow a ‘more practical’ path when it came to post secondary. But my heart wasn’t in it. So it led my astray for a few years. Being in Vancouver then, the theatre world felt harder to be in, but I still managed to audition & get into a couple productions (one being the Wizard of oz Panto, in which I played Dorothy). It was in doing that show I had the thought “why am I not in theatre school”!? Being 25 at the time, and feeling ‘old’ to be applying to university (especially for a program like theatre, when I knew most students would be straight out of high school) I applied, auditioned, and got into Capilano University’s Musical Theatre program. I was nervous. It was full on. But oh man, was it everything i needed. Things changed a bit when I found out I was pregnant, in second term of second year. Being almost 27, and having always wanted to be a momma, I wasn’t upset. I was sad to have to miss my last year of school, but what I gained in those two years, (cont.in comments...)
I am so, so happy to announce that I will be in @superiorgrimoirefilms next film, titled Lucid, coming out in April 2020. Thank you @deannamilligan & @loobyluxe for casting me and working with my crazy schedule. I really look forward to working on this film, on our beautiful little island. And excited to work with @georgia_acken, who will be playing my daughter! . . . . #shortfilm #film #actor #actorslife #saltspringisland #saltspringactor #filmlife #grateful #livinthebestlife #happiness #lucid #production #momactor #momlife #passions #act #lightscameraaction #mettarose
It was this guy’s last day of Grade 1 today. I don’t know how that happened! But I do know I am so grateful he had this amazing woman as his teacher for his first two years of elementary school. Her loving, gentle & understanding ways was such a good experience, and a wonderful way for him to start into his schooling journey. Thank you Mrs. Holmes. We’ll all miss you next year. Grade 2, here comes this sensitive, smart & wild soul of boy. Be kind to him💜 . . . . #seethebeauty #myboy #gradeone #summertime #schoolsout #documentyourdays #schoollife #bestteacher #nikonphotography #unedited #mompreneur #momphotographer #letthembelittle #saltspringisland #elementaryschool #grateful #oldestchild #mine #mettarose
What do you see in the cards, baby girl? . . . . . #littlesttarotreader #tarotcards #seethebeauty #thesemoments #documentyourdays #letthembelittle #wherethekidsare #home #momlife #toddlerlife #memories #photographermom #nikonphotography #project_faceless #saltspringisland #pnwphotographer #mettarose

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